


How You Turned My World

by Mugglelover27



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And we end with a healthy dose of sappy shit, Ben Cooks, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Little bit of angst, More angst than intended, Rated M for Monopoly, Rey Has Abandonment Issues, Romance, Snowed In, catching feelings, enemies to misunderstandings to lovers, idk how they managed that, they flirt while playing Monopoly?, this is a mess, very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23013178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mugglelover27/pseuds/Mugglelover27
Summary: Rey has been working as Senator Leia Organa-Solo's personal assistant for 3 months, and she knows one thing for certain: she despises Ben Solo, Leia's stuck-up son. As she's preparing the Organa family cabin for a ski trip, a snowstorm traps her and Ben inside the house together. However, it's nothing a little wine and a game of Monopoly can't fix. But, what happens when the snow melts?TL;DR - Rey and Ben get snowed in and get real close real fast while playing Monopoly. Then, things get very complicated.A fluffy romp through a relationship that may or may not be just a FWB situation.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Kylo Ren
Comments: 72
Kudos: 322





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have a tendency to write random AUs when I have writer's block with my other fics. This is a result of that. We'd had barely any snow here, but I really wanted to write something snowy anyway. I wrote 4000 words in one day and then it snowed all through the night and most of the following day. A week later I wrote another 3000 words and the following day it snowed again, so I think this fic is just a magic snow-conjuring fic. Maybe after I post it we'll get a freak blizzard in March. A girl can dream.  
> I hope you like it!

"I'm so sorry about all of this, Rey," Senator Organa's voice said over speakerphone. "They've cancelled absolutely every flight due to this damn storm."

"It's really ok, Senator Organa," Rey replied, hoping she could put her boss at ease.

"It's not ok, and how many times do I have to tell you to call me Leia. I really hate that you're stuck there in all this. Please, help yourself to absolutely anything in the house. I'll be paying you overtime for the trouble."

"You really don't have to-"

"I'm going to. No arguing it. Han and I will keep you posted on our flight or alternate plans. Please stay safe, you two."

"We will," Rey reassured her before hanging up the phone. She glared at the man lounging on the overstuffed armchair across from her. "You couldn't even say anything to your mother?"

"She knows I'm here. That's all she needs," he responded without looking up from his book.

"Jackass," she muttered under her breath as she grabbed the TV remote to turn on the weather report.

The jackass was Ben Solo, the son of Rey's - still rather new - boss, Senator Leia Organa-Solo. 

In the three months Rey had been working as Senator Organa's personal assistant she had come to discover that the senator and her husband, Han, were very kind, down-to-earth people with wry senses of humor. The Senator always insisted on being called "Leia" and often asked for Rey's input on matters where Rey didn't expect to be included. Han was laid back and always quick with a joke in his cool, effortless nature that told Rey he must have been quite the charmer when he was a young man. Together they treated her almost like a daughter, inviting her to dinners and holding familiar conversations with her that went beyond the duties of her employment. Despite being a glorified errand-girl Rey never felt she was treated poorly. In fact, she felt more at home with Leia and Han than she had anywhere else in her life. 

Ben, on the other hand, Rey absolutely despised. She would never understand Leia's constant praise of her son. It was the Senator's one fault, Rey decided. Despite only meeting Ben a handful of times, she was set in her opinion. He exuded exactly the attitude you would expect of a man who grew up in a family made by old money. He had been to the best boarding schools and the best university, and the snobbishness of high society had rubbed off on him. Add to that the various articles she had seen detailing how he had a different blonde-haired, large-breasted blue blood on his arm at every public event, and Rey had decided she truly didn't care for him. He had barely said more than three words to Rey during their acquaintance, clearly thinking her below his rank and unworthy of his time.

Now, by the work of some evil being, hellbent on making her life miserable, Rey was stuck in the mountains, in the Organa family cabin, with Ben Solo. She looked out the window at the mounting snowfall, begging it to end her misery in any way it saw fit. Whether that included an early demise or not she really couldn't care less at that point. Anything to get out of the situation. 

It had already been 24 hours since she had arrived at the cabin - more of a grand chalet, really, with the 5 bedroom and 4 bath floor plan - to make preparations for Leia and Han's arrival. She wasn't expecting Ben to already be there, but he thankfully stayed out of her way while she stocked the home with food and supplies for the week-long getaway.

"I'm glad he got there early," Leia had said when Rey told her that Ben was already at the house. "At least you won't be alone." Rey grimaced at that. She would much rather be alone.

Taking a quick look around she realized she had no idea what to do with herself. She had been moving so much since she got there and now she was done. Her job was finished leaving her to laze about the house with nothing to do but wait for the snow drifts to pile higher than the windows. Her gaze turned back to the television and the grim weather report it contained. Everyone in the area was being told to stay indoors and be prepared for possible power outages as the storm's severity continued to increase. She sighed again and sank onto the couch. 

"Are you ever going to stop sighing?" Ben asked suddenly.

"As long as it annoys you I think I'll keep it up," she replied with a pointed glare. 

He closed his book suddenly and set it aside. His head tilted just slightly as he fixed her with a steady, intimidating gaze. "You don't like me."

"What a very astute observation." Her voice was slick with sarcasm.

"Why?" He challenged.

"Let's see. You act like I don't exist, walk around like a pompous ass, and let's not forget the way you treat your mother. I mean, you wouldn't even say 'hello' to her on the phone just now!" She threw her arms up in frustration. 

"And you're just a naive girl who thinks that getting a job as a coffee-mule straight out of college means she suddenly knows everything," he countered flatly. 

She scoffed and stood to leave. "I'm done wasting my time around you." She made her way up the stairs to her guest room and shut herself in. 

~~

The sun had set leaving the house chilly despite the constantly working heating system. Rey sat in her guest room scrolling through her social media and trying not to think about how dramatic she was being. She couldn't believe she had acted that way around her boss' son. It was unprofessional and just plain immature. Of course, it wasn't entirely her fault. He had been a complete and utter bastard too. Still, if he said anything about it to his mother Rey was sure to get fired. She couldn't get fired. This was her first real job, and it was more than she could have asked for. The pay was good, her boss was amazing, and she got to travel. It was a dream job for Rey.

There was a soft knock on the door. 

"What do you want?" She answered, feeling mildly like an irate teenager.

"I made dinner." He hesitated before adding, "You should eat something." 

"I-" she decided to bite her tongue. Maybe she should try to play nice. Avoid further disaster. He sounded sincere, after all. "Thanks for telling me." She couldn't manage much more than that. His footsteps faded down the hallway as her stomach growled. Fine, she would eat.

She crept out of her room, letting her eyes adjust to the dark hallway before making her way down to the kitchen. He was sitting on a barstool at the kitchen island, a plate of pasta in front of him and an identical portion sitting opposite him. His head turned when he heard her walking into the room.

"Hey," she said simply.

"Hey," he replied, watching her approach. "I made pasta. It isn't much, but I waited too long to start cooking." He spoke with a casual tone that was just a little too forced. "I thought I would just make something quick so we didn't end up eating at midnight. I hope that's ok."

She blinked, taken aback. Was he worried she would be mad that he hadn't cooked something more interesting? "Pasta sounds great, actually. Thank you. Sorry you had to be the one to cook."

"Why are you sorry about that?" He looked at her quizzically.

"I'm the PA here. It should be my job." She hopped up onto the barstool opposite him.

"You're not my PA, though. My mother isn't here and there's a blizzard raging outside. Pretty sure that means you're off the clock." He stood and grabbed a bottle of wine off the counter. "That means you're free to drink." He poured a glass and held it out to her. "Peace offering?"

She accepted it and waited for him to sit down before speaking. "I'm sorry for earlier. I was really rude. Please don't tell Senator Organa about how immature I was."

"Wouldn't dream of it. If you promise not tell her how I acted, that is." He met her eyes. "I'm sorry too," he said quietly. "I think we got off on the wrong foot." 

"I suppose we did." She looked down at her food. It had been nice of him to make dinner. Otherwise she would probably be sitting in the guest room eating the Maltesers she had stuffed in her purse two weeks ago. "We should at least try to get along for your mother's sake, right?" She met his eyes, her expression hopeful. "Can we start over?"

He raised his glass in a toast. "To starting over."

~~

"Give me your railroads and I'll give you Boardwalk," she bargained with a confident smile. 

"You think I'm giving up 3 railroads for one property?" He scoffed.

"Not just any property. The best property." She took another sip of her wine as she brandished the Boardwalk card at him. 

"I'm very partial to my railroads. They're easy money." 

"Ha! Easy money. Just like the rest of your life." She idly rearranged the pastel-colored currency in the bank.

"Is that what you think of me? That I ride on my parent's coat tails?"

"Of course. Isn't that what your kind do?"

"I thought we were supposed to be getting along," he commented.

"We're playing Monopoly, Ben," she pointed out. "Any chance we had at getting along was shot in the foot the moment we pulled this game out."

"Fine. I'll give you all 3 of my railroads if you give me Boardwalk, your green properties, and $300." 

"You can't expect me to make deals like that before I've even finished my first drink," she retorted, swirling the liquid in her glass as if to make a point. 

"You won't get an offer like this again," he warned.

"Good. I'm hoping to get you so drunk that I can buy those railroads for next to nothing." She gave him a sly smirk over her wine glass.

He chuckled and she found herself gazing at his smile for a moment longer than she would like to admit. She had never seen him smile before, and she found it to be a very pleasant sight. 

"Good luck with that." He rolled the dice. "So, tell me about yourself. What don't I know about you?" He asked conversationally.

"Hmmm," she pondered dramatically. "My name is Rey. I moved here for university, and then I got this job after graduating. Your turn."

"That's all? I already knew all of that."

"Fine. We'll make a deal. Every time one of us rolls a double the other has to state a fact or answer a question about themselves. The higher the number they roll the more personal it has to be. For example, if I roll two 1s you have to tell me your favorite food, but if I roll two 6s," a wicked smirk spread across her face, "then you have to tell me something really deep or embarrassing, like how you lost your virginity or wet the bed until you were 16. Deal?"

"How did you know about the bed wetting?" He shot her a sly smile while she rolled her eyes. "It's a deal."

She managed to immediately roll two 4s and pumped her fist in triumph. "You first."

"Fine." He thought for a moment before answering. "I used to hate my parents."

"Why?" she asked, in shock. "They're such nice people." 

"Roll another double and I'll tell you," he smirked. She rolled, sighed, and handed him $14 for landing on St. James' Place. He rolled two 5s.

"I'm an orphan," Rey said plainly. He looked up at her, clearly taken aback. "Don't give me that look. We exist. It's not all tragedy and becoming pickpockets."

He rolled a 2 and she told him her favorite meal was dessert. She rolled a 6 and he told her about how he broke a kid's arm in 5th grade after they made fun of his nose. "Good," Rey laughed. "He deserved it." 

"My first job was at an electronics store," Rey said after he rolled a 4. "During my first week on the job a woman yelled at me because I told her I couldn't let her hold the laptop display that was bracketed to the counter."

"People suck," he commented.

"You're just lucky you never had to work customer service."

A few turns later she finally rolled two 5s. "Answer the question. Why did you hate your parents?"

"I hated them because they always sent me away to boarding school. I was miserable there and thought they sent me because they didn't want me around. I had a very long rebellious phase which lasted until I was almost thirty when I finally quit working for my mom's opposition. I've been working at mom's nonprofit ever since and trying to make up for lost time. But," he sighed, "sometimes I fall back on old habits."

"That's why you wouldn't talk to your mom on the phone earlier?" He nodded in reply. "Shit," Rey said, dazed. "You should have saved that story for double sixes."

"Do you know what you'll say for double sixes?" He dropped the dice.

"I think so," she replied watching the dice land on exactly that. She took a breath. "My parents abandoned me," she fidgeted with a game piece as Ben watched her solemnly. "They could still be alive. They just don't want me. I used to think about searching for them, but realized I would only hurt myself if I did that."

"Fuck, Rey," he breathed, looking at her with concerned eyes. 

"Yeah, well, you owe me $250," she said nonchalantly. "You're on my property."

They continued rolling the dice, soon abandoning Monopoly altogether. She told him about her love of plants and complete inability to keep them alive. He told her about how much he loved to cook and read fantasy novels when he had the time.

"I only started drinking coffee because I thought it would make me seem more sophisticated. My drink of choice is actually Earl Grey tea." Rey laughed at herself as she rolled the dice. "Damn," she huffed, handing him the dice after, once again, failing to roll doubles. "I swear you must be cheating."

"I'll let you have an extra try this time."

She gave him a suspicious look and rolled the dice again. "Ha!" She shouted triumphantly as the dice landed on a 12. "You owe me something big now! Come on, I've been waiting all night for you to embarrass yourself." She looked at him expectantly.

His mouth turned up in a lopsided smile. "I'd really like to kiss you," he admitted.

She looked dumbfounded. "What?" She thought she must have heard him wrong.

"That's my fact," he stated. "I'd really like to kiss you." He leaned closer over the game board between them. "May I?"

He was so close she could feel his breath ghosting across her skin. "Roll doubles and I'll answer," she challenged. He reached down to grab the dice, his eyes never leaving her face. Before the dice finished rolling Rey leaned forward, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. After a moment she broke away. "What did you roll?"

He looked down and laughed. "A three."

"Too bad. I guess that's all you get for now." She began to move away, but his hand reached out to grab her around the waist.

"That wasn't part of the deal." He kissed her again, pulling her to him from across the game board.

"Ben. Ben wait," she said, pulling away from his lips.

"Oh." He dropped his hands from around her like she was suddenly made of fire. "I'm so sorry. I thought-"

"What? No! That's not the problem," she quickly reassured him. "It's just that there's a hotel in my ass." She reached down to grab the offending game piece and held it up to show him before tossing it aside. A relieved smile spread across Ben's face and they both laughed. 

He grabbed the Monopoly board and tossed it aside before wrapping his arms around her again, pulling her onto his lap. "Better?" He asked just above a whisper. She nodded slowly, eyes fixed on his mouth. 

She knew she shouldn't be doing this. He was her boss' son, for goodness' sake. However, all logical schools of thought flew out the window as he moved to press gentle kisses along her neck causing her breath to hitch. If she could blame the alcohol she would, but they had stopped drinking halfway through their game and she hadn't even finished her glass. At some point during the evening she must have lost her mind. This must all just be the result of being cooped up in the cabin all day. 

His hand at the small of her back pulled her flush against him as he laid a kiss just below her jawline, and her breathing became ragged. She let her hand move of it's own accord, tangling in his hair as she met his lips again, kissing him hungrily. When his tongue grazed across her top lip she lost all resolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really fun to write. It's mostly written with just a few connecting scenes needing to be finished. As of right now, I'm still doing a good amount of edits, but it's moving along really well. I think my total word count is currently at just over 10,000.
> 
> For anyone who reads my other fics, don't worry. I'm still working diligently on those. With all the schools shut down, for Corona Virus prevention, I'm stuck with nothing to do but write fic. Which means that maaaaybe I've already started yet another AU because I'm trash.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter of this mess! I was originally going to end it as a oneshot, but I thought that was boring. Plus, after writing the monopoly banter from the first chapter I was just ready to write more fluff. So I did.   
> Enjoy!

Rey sat swiftly up in bed when she was awakened by the sound of the front door thumping open followed by Leia's voice ringing through the house. "Ben? Rey? It's us. We caught an early flight."

"Shit." Rey froze for a moment, mapping out the route of her clothes scattered about the room. As she moved to slip out of bed, Ben let out a muffled groan beside her while snaking an arm around her waist to pull her against his chest.

"Don't go," he mumbled into her hair. 

"You have to get off me," she replied, her voice stern as she pushed out of his grip. "Your parents are here."

"And? They'll just think we're asleep if we don't reply."

She extricated herself from him and hopped out of the bed, slipping on clothes as she made her way to the door. "You may be used to being caught in bed with women, but this is not something I do. I'm not losing my job because I slept with my boss' playboy of a son," she whispered frantically, combing her fingers through her tangled mess of hair as she prepared to leave the room.

"Rey-"

"Please don't say anything about this," she begged, and then she slipped into the hallway. 

Walking over to the railing she looked down into the foyer. "I'm so glad you finally made it!" She said cheerily to the two people looking up at her.

"Did we wake you?" Leia asked, taking in Rey's mussed clothing.

"Oh no, not at all," she lied. "I was just starting to get ready."

"Great." Han beamed his signature smile. "We can all have something to eat. I'm starving."

"Is Ben up?" Leia asked.

"I-I don't know," Rey lied again. She hated that she was lying.

"I'm up," Ben said, appearing suddenly behind Rey, startling her. He had pulled on a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. The sight of his bare chest had a part of her wishing she had stayed in bed with him.

"Hey, kid," Han addressed him. "Come help me whip up some breakfast."

"Ok. Let me get dressed and I'll be down in a minute," Ben replied, wandering back to his room with a yawn.

Rey excused herself to do the same and was met in the hallway by the sight of Ben leaning against his doorway, nonchalantly holding her panties out on a hooked finger. As she reached out to take them back he grabbed her wrist, pulling her into the room and dragging her to him in one swift movement. "I missed my chance to say a proper good morning earlier," he purred before catching her lips in a kiss. She melted into his touch, barely realizing it when she wrapped her arms around his neck. He had an effect on her she didn't yet understand. After a moment she found the strength to pull away.

"I have to get dressed," she blurted out, slipping away before he could respond.

Rey didn't have much experience with men or relationships or sex. Two short-lived college boyfriends could hardly count. Now she found herself having hopped into bed with her boss' son with barely a second thought. All she had achieved was a deep sense of dread and uncertainty. 

When Rey re-emerged from her room it was to the wafting scent of bacon and eggs. She slid into a seat at the counter beside Leia who was contentedly watching her husband and son moving expertly around the kitchen.

"There you are, Rey!" Leia said brightly. Rey suddenly wished she'd had the common sense to take a shower as she became paranoid that she reeked of sex. She was glad for the snowy weather so she had an excuse to wear her turtleneck sweater and cover up the marks along her neck. "I'm sorry we didn't message you before we left this morning," Leia continued. "It was ungodly early when we boarded, and I didn't want to bother you with it."

"It's fine, really. I'm just glad you made it here safely."

"Coffee?" Leia offered, holding up the carafe beside her.

"Actually, I think I'll grab myself some-"

"Earl Grey," Ben interrupted setting a steeping cup of tea in front of her.

"Th-thanks," she replied, blinking in confusion. He gave her a quick smile before turning his attention back to the food.

As they ate their breakfast Leia convinced Rey to get out of the house and join them at the resort. Rey agreed when Leia mentioned the ice skating rink. Rey had never been ice skating, but had always wanted to try.

The skating rink was dead along with the rest of the resort. It seemed like the storm had scared most people away. Leia made sure Rey was set up with a good pair of skates before dragging a grumbling Han off to the slopes. Apparently he wasn't a big fan of the cold.

To tell the truth, Rey hated the cold too. She usually tried to avoid it at all costs, but now she found herself slipping around the rink like a newborn deer, coat wrapped tightly around her. As she was doing her utmost to keep her feet from slipping out from under her she felt a large hand on her back, steadying her after a minor slip-up. She knew immediately who it was, having become very well acquainted with the feel of his hands the previous night. Unfortunately, the sudden contact only frightened her causing her to whip around to face him and slip more. The next thing she knew she was splayed on top of him, feeling rather foolish.

"That was very graceful," Ben said sarcastically.

"You scared me!" She exclaimed, trying too quickly to right herself and only succeeding in falling back on top of him.

"Are you alright?" He helped her as she struggled to stand.

"Just fine," she huffed, finally getting to her feet and skating off.

"Wait," he called, catching up to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine. I'm just a little..." She focused on her balance for a moment. "New to this. I can't afford any distractions." 

"Have you never been skating before?"

"Today is my first time!" She beamed an excited smile his way before putting her arms out to steady herself.

"It looks like you need a teacher." He skated up behind her and placed his hands on her waist.

"Get your hands off me!" Rey scolded. "I don't need your help."

His hands drifted from her waist down to her hips as he pulled her back flush against his chest. "Who said I was helping?" He murmured in her ear, his voice a low rumble that reverberated in her chest. She thought her face was probably hot enough to melt the ice under their feet. Flustered, her toe caught on the ice bringing them both tumbling forward.

Han grinned as he and Leia watched from their spot by the entrance as the two on the rink fell into a playful fight over who had caused their spill. "Seems familiar, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It does," Leia replied wistfully, leaning up to plant a kiss on Han's cheek. "Come on. I'll message them to meet us at the house."

~~

"What's all this about?" Han gestured to the scattered Monopoly pieces on the living room floor as they all filed in to watch a movie.

"He wouldn't trade me his railroads," Rey said accusingly. 

"So you threw the board?" Han chuckled.

"I'm very competitive." 

"Then you shouldn't be playing Monopoly with Ben," Leia remarked. "He never trades anything. Some manifest destiny bullshit or something."

"It's a simple strategy," Ben said as he met Rey's gaze. "Once I have something I want I don't let it go."

"This is why we've never been a board game family," Han sighed. 

Of course they had ended up sitting beside each other on a too-small couch while they all settled in for the movie. In their defense Ben had originally been sitting in one of the armchairs until Leia had insisted he move on account of him not being able to see the TV properly from that angle. Now, Leia and Han were sweetly cuddled together on the love seat while Rey tried her best to keep her limbs from brushing Ben's on the barely larger couch. 

As the movie progressed, however, she allowed herself to relax more, enjoying the feelings of a family; the cozy warmth of company, the gentle arguments about what in the movie was plausible, the laughter that filled the room.

Rey brought her feet up onto the couch, relaxing against the cushions and briefly allowing her knee to brush the hand at Ben's side. For a fleeting moment she allowed herself to believe she was a part of this family; that this warmth and comfort belonged to her.

Ben's hand shifted slightly so he could caress lazy patterns along her shin and Rey took in a ragged breath. His every touch felt like it sent electricity coursing through her veins. Whatever was between them, she wasn't sure if it thrilled or terrified her.

~~

On their last evening in the cabin the smell of food coaxed Rey into the kitchen where she found Ben standing at the stove.

"My parents have gone to the lodge for dinner and drinks with some friends," he said in way of explanation. "So, I thought I would cook something properly for us."

"Oh," she replied, surprised. "Thank you." She walked into the kitchen and lifted herself to sit on the counter beside where he was standing. "It smells delicious," she commented looking down into the pot. "What are you making?"

"Butternut squash risotto."

"That sounds amazing!"

"Good." He put a lid on the pot to let the squash simmer and stepped into the spot between her legs, his face level with hers. "We have a little time to wait, though."

The look in his eyes made her breath catch in her throat. She had been thinking all week about his comment regarding not letting things go when he had them. He just meant in monopoly, right? She had convinced herself of that, but now he was looking at her with a hunger in his eyes that told her otherwise. It told her that her other suspicion was correct; he wasn't done with her. She knew what he wanted; casual sex. To be friends with benefits - or rather, acquaintances with benefits. They weren't friends. They had hated each other until just a few nights prior, after all. 

As his arms wrapped around her waist and he leaned in to kiss her, Rey's mind began to race. Was she ok with this? Did she want to be a part of this? She wasn't very experienced in these kinds of things. Why would he want her anyway? He could have any woman he wanted. 

However, she couldn't deny that she had thoroughly enjoyed their night together. They had been getting along rather well since then, though he had, thankfully, kept his distance when his parents were around. Maybe she could try this out, though. It wasn't like it would keep her from anything. She wasn't interested in relationships, after all. She could barely keep friends, she was so busy. She had been qualified for this job because she had no attachments and could do all the traveling required at the drop of a hat. She didn't have time for relationships and maybe he was the same. Maybe that was why he had a different woman on his arm every time he stepped into the public eye.

If that was the case then there was no harm in giving in. Something in her wanted him and she wasn't going to deny it the pleasure.

When he finally pulled away they were both breathless and looked significantly more disheveled thanks to their roaming hands.

"Would you like some wine?" He smiled and grabbed a glass.

"Of course," she replied, smoothing out her hair.

She sipped her wine while watching him work. He moved around the kitchen with an ease and expertise that had her mesmerized.

"I need in this drawer," he said, gently nudging one of her legs which was draped over the counter.

"That's unfortunate," she replied dryly, taking another sip of her wine. He was a very reactive person and she had found that she enjoyed teasing him.

He crossed his arms. "I'll move you if I have to."

"How very ungentlemanly of you," she teased. He smirked and suddenly his back was pressed against her chest and his hands were pulling her legs around his waist. A panicked "oh shit" escaped her lips as she felt herself being dragged off the counter, and her arms instinctively flew around his neck, wine nearly sloshing over the side of her glass, as she settled into the sudden piggyback situation.

"I almost spilled my wine!" She complained.

"I would have gotten you more."

"I could have been hurt!"

"I trust your self-preservation instincts."

She let out an indignant snort and tightened her legs around his waist as he set to cooking once again. For whatever reason she didn't feel like jumping down.

He finally reached into the drawer she had been sitting in front of and pulled out a spoon. Dipping it into the risotto, he took a taste before holding it up to her. 

"What do you think?" He asked as she leaned forward to take a bite.

"Fuck, that's delicious," she sighed.

"Then it's time for dinner," he announced.

As Rey laid beside him in bed that night she couldn't help but think about how quickly things had changed. For three months she had hated him, and now she felt so comfortable around him. She couldn't believe how easily they interacted now; how naturally they fell into conversation and, of course, into bed.

"What time is it?" She asked as he traced delicate lines across her back. "How long do you think it'll be before your parents get back?"

"We've got time," he replied, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. 

"How much?" She rolled over to face him.

"Enough."

"You didn't check the time, did you."

"Nope. I was a little distracted." He caressed a hand down her side, dragging his eyes along the length of her body. The look in his eyes wasn't the hunger she expected. Instead she saw appreciation and awe; it was a look she would expect of someone viewing a piece of fine art, and it caused her to draw into herself as she became suddenly self-conscious. 

"I-uh," she hesitated. "I should get back to my room." 

"Rey." He gripped her hip in a plea for her not to leave. "This wasn't a one-time thing, was it?"

She blinked. Was he trying to give her an out? "I-I didn't think it was," she answered honestly.

He grinned. "Good. Then we're on the same page." He leaned forward, drawing her into a kiss.

"I mean, it was at least two times," she smirked, pulling away. 

"Smart ass," he chided as he grabbed that exact part of her anatomy. She gave a yelp of protest as he rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him.

"I told you I should get back."

"No one will know if you stay here tonight," he reasoned. "I promise."

"I really don't want to risk it." She took a deep breath. "I just think it would look bad."

"Ok," he accepted. "We'll be discreet."

"Thank you."

"But," he reached to grabbed his phone. "It is currently only 9:30." He turned the screen to show her before dropping the device onto the bed. "So," he kissed her neck. "I think," her collarbone. "You," he continued kissing lower with each word. "Should stay a bit longer."

"I can do that," she replied on an uneven breath. 

She hadn't expected him to be so respectful of her wishes (or so attentive to her own needs, but he was proving he was, in fact, very attentive). All things considered, she decided she could really get used to their arrangement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started writing this fic I described it to a friend as "what happens when two idiots who are bad at communicating don't share a dyad bond." I wish I could better execute that idea, but I hope it's at least fun to read.  
> Currently working on some line edits on the next chapter, so it should be up within a week or so. And if you're a reader of my other fic "Maybe This Time," I am hoping to get a chapter up this week. I've been really chipping away at the unexpected plot twist it threw at me.   
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers!  
> I was originally supposed to take a trip to visit some friends this weekend, but that fell through, for obvious reasons plus a few other circumstances. Instead, I've been spending my 4 day weekend by visiting local sights, writing, playing Animal Crossing, and accidentally getting drunk at karaoke. So, if there are any glaring mistakes in this chapter I blame the hangover (I say at 10 p.m.).   
> Since we're just kinda smack in the middle of the fic right now it's time for fluff overload.  
> Enjoy!

Ben Solo was head over heels. 

He wouldn't say as much, of course. Now that he had her in his arms he refused to be an idiot about it. She was cautious and clearly worried about a public relationship, and he respected that. For her sake he would move slowly, though everything in him was begging him to do otherwise. It was a feeling that was entirely new to him.

In all his years he had not had an even mildly successful relationship. The longest had lasted a month before he apologized to the girl, saying he just wasn't interested, and ended it. 

But now. Now there was Rey. 

He couldn't believe he had wasted those first couple months by disliking her. It was true that when he met her she had only been a month into her work as his mother's PA, and yet they were already treating her like family. When he had finally agreed to show up for a family dinner she was there, sitting beside Leia and looking timid while she was being fawned over. Watching his parents treat her with such kindness had opened old wounds that he had been trying desperately to heal.

She was always timid, quiet, apologetic even. He couldn't stand it, watching a naive girl win his parents' affections with little more than manners and a smile, when he felt like he had struggled all his life for their approval. 

Then she had yelled at him, called him a "pompous ass," and he had seen the fire in her eyes. He had been completely wrong about her, and he wanted to know more. He wanted to know what fueled that fire, what drove her; he wanted to know everything. Even now he wanted to know more. He never tired of her.

It had already been 3 wonderful months and just the thought of her had put an uncharacteristic spring in his step despite the fact that they only managed to see each other once or twice a week.

Tonight was one of those nights when he got to see her. They couldn't go out for dates, as Rey still wanted to stay out of the spotlight, so Ben usually took it upon himself to plan nice evenings in. On occasion they were both so busy that they only had time to eat a quick dinner before inevitably falling into bed together. Ben wouldn't complain about sex, but those nights were his least favorites. The sex was great, of course, but nights like that let a deep sense of insecurity wriggle into his mind. It made him wonder if Rey was only there for the sex; if this wasn't anything more for her. Then she would give him her genuine, radiant smile and his heart would start doing backflips. That smile would always reassure him that this was something real. 

For tonight he had already made a cheesecake and was planning to cook a nice dinner. There wasn't anything special about the day, but he always wanted to spoil her when he had the chance.

His phone buzzed on his desk and he picked it up to find a message from Rey. "I have to cancel tonight," it read.

"Is everything alright?" He typed back. If his mother had piled unexpected work on her he would be so angry. It was supposed to be her day off. 

She replied and he hurriedly opened the message. "Yeah, I'm just sick. Runny nose, coughing up a lung. You know. All the gross stuff. We can reschedule for when I'm not disgusting."

A couple hours later he was knocking on her door, loaded down with all the sick-day supplies a person could possibly need.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she opened the door. He stepped past her to drop everything onto her - always messy - kitchen counter. "What's all that?"

He turned toward her. "You said you were sick, so I'm here to take care of you."

"What? But-" she looked down at her messy pajamas while trying to fix her hair with one of her hands. "I'm disgusting."

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "You're beautiful. Now go sit on that couch and under those blankets, right now," he commanded.

"Yes, sir," she mocked and made for the couch.

"Have you eaten?"

"Nnnoooo," she drawled cautiously.

"I thought not." He grabbed a bowl and spoon out of her cabinets and dished up some chicken soup.

"You made me soup?" She said in disbelief as he walked away after handing her the bowl. "Wait, aren't you going to eat too?"

"Yes, but first," he held up a movie as he turned on the DVD player.

"Chicken soup and my favorite movie. What are you, my boyfriend?" Rey said sarcastically.

"Maybe," he replied with equal sarcasm.

Rey had a tendency to make those jokes whenever he went out of his way to do something for her. It was the only time she ever used that word; "boyfriend." They weren't vocal about those things and that was fine with him. They were both inexperienced when it came to relationships, so he would give it time. For now he would enjoy the little sarcastic jokes.

He sat down next to her with his own bowl of soup and pressed play on the action-comedy Rey called her favorite movie.

When they finished eating he put an arm around her, pulling her into his side. "Let me know when you're hungry again. There's cheesecake waitin-"

"I'm hungry!" She exclaimed excitedly and he laughed. "Cheesecake please!"

"You just ate."

"Yes, but, as you so expertly pointed out, I hadn't eaten until you showed up. So, I'm starving." She grinned. 

He was already in the kitchen by that point, cutting her a very Rey-sized piece of cheesecake.

"Hey, Ben." She met his eyes as he handed her the plate. "This is all really sweet of you. Thank you."

She settled back against him and he leaned down to give a whispered, "you're welcome," in her ear before kissing the top of her head.

Ben Solo had never been happier.

~~

Rey had never hated a day more than she did at that moment. She was at her wits end. There wasn't even one big thing she could blame it on, and that made her even more angry. It was all tiny frustrating things piling one on top of the other, and she was tired of it. If one more shitty thing happened she would snap. 

She stopped just outside the front doors of the swanky uptown apartment building, wondering how she even got there. Thinking back she realized she had started walking in the direction of it when a car had splashed muddy water all over her after she left the office. That had been the final, shit-stained, cherry on the top of her terrible day. 

Why was she there, though? It was Wednesday. They never met on Wednesdays, and he hadn't even messaged her. Nor had she messaged him, but there she was being let in by the doorman (who recognized her by that point) and hitting the elevator button for his floor.

He answered his door after a couple knocks.

"Rey?" Ben took in the state of her clothing and hair. "What happened?"

Everything burst from her at once in rapid succession. "I couldn't sleep because of the stupid fucking mouse in my apartment, who insists on loudly chewing through the baseboards at 3 a.m. Then I spilled tea on the book I was reading, and it was a really nice copy. I was on hold with my bank for half the day because, for some idiot reason, they wouldn't approve my student loan payment, so now I'm tired and I'm hungry and a car splashed me with disgusting rainwater." The dam broke and tears streamed down her face. "And now I feel stupid because I don't even know why I'm here except to cry at you like some weak idiot."

Suddenly his arms were around her and she was sobbing into his chest, soaking the button-up he was wearing.

"I'm getting your clothes dirty," she protested trying to pull away, but he only held her tighter.

"I don't care." He stroked her back comfortingly while her sobs subsided. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry." She wiped her face on her filthy sleeve. "It's just been a lot to deal with."

"Do you want to take a shower?" He reached out to rub some dirt from her cheek. "We can have food after."

"Yes, please." Ever so slowly she extracted herself from his arms. Truthfully, she wanted to stay in his arms forever. His touch had a way of making her feel safe while also sending heat right to her core. "You're going to join me, right?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I think so."

"Ok," he replied sweetly. She tugged on his collar to bring his lips down to meet hers, and he lifted her into his arms, walking them into the bathroom. He set her on her feet in front of the shower and pulled away.

"I'll join you after I order us some food," he told her as he kissed her forehead. "How does Chinese sound?"

"It sounds great."

"What do you want? Mapo tofu?"

She smiled. He knew her too well. "Yes, please." 

Rey stepped into the shower and let the hot water wash off all the day's frustrations... and mud. She drowned herself in her sweet scented soaps (Ben had insisted she leave some of her things there since they almost always stayed at his place. It made sense to her, so she hadn't argued), but still couldn't fully relax. It felt like her shoulders had been tense for so long that they didn't know how not to be. She stared blankly at the shower wall, willing her mind to stop replaying the day. It didn't matter, she tried to tell herself, but the irrational side of her brain was insistent. 

By the time Ben returned to join her she felt numb from battling her own emotions. He saw the distant look on her face and immediately enfolded her in his arms, holding her there under the warm spray of the shower head. 

Something in Rey's subconscious had known that this was what she needed; to be held by someone she was close to. That must have been why her feet had carried her so swiftly to Ben. She realized it must be odd that she considered her friend with benefits to be her closest friend, but she had never felt comfortable around anyone the way she did around Ben. She just hoped he wouldn't say she was starting to overstep her bounds.

She nuzzled her face into his chest as he stroked her back. Every muscle in her body seemed to finally relax at his touch. He felt like her anchor, keeping her steady after being adrift at sea for far too long. She could get used to this if he let her, this feeling of belonging. But she wouldn't ask that of him. It wasn't her place. He wasn't hers. But she was alright with that. After all, if he wasn't hers then he couldn't leave. For the time being, she would enjoy the safety that being in his arms provided her. 

~~

It was Ben's birthday.

When Rey discovered this, well-hidden, fact she found herself wanting to do something for him. What did you do for the birthday of your friend with benefits, though? She had never even had any normal friends close enough to celebrate birthdays with, let alone a friend like Ben. She was at a loss.

In the end she went with something classic and decided a cake and presents sounded like the most foolproof plan.

"Congratulations, you're old!" She exclaimed as he opened the door.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her into the apartment. "Not too old, I hope."

"You've still got a couple years left before that," she teased and then held up the large bag in her hand. "I brought presents!"

"Presents plural? Are you one of them?" He crooned suggestively. 

"Gross!" She stuck her tongue out in mock disgust. "No. I baked a cake and got you something." She pulled out of his grasp and walked into the living room to set everything down.

"I didn't even tell you it was my birthday. How did you know?"

"I work for your mother," Rey deadpanned.

"Ah. Right."

"She just never stops. It's all Ben this and Ben that. Of course, all the girls in the office hang on every word. Honestly," she flashed him a teasing smile, "I just don't see what's so great about you."

"I can give you some examples." He grinned wickedly as he moved closer to her.

"You think you're that great? Quite the ego you have there."

"I figure I must be pretty good if you're still here." His hands were on her hips, pulling her against him. 

"Touché." She put her hands on his shoulders and stood on her toes. "I do only accept the best." 

That was a blatant lie considering the guys she had dated in university. However, it was completely true in regards to Ben Solo. At least, he was the best she had ever had, and she really couldn't imagine it being any better.

He hooked his arms under her legs so her thighs wrapped around his waist as he peppered kisses down her neck. Maybe the cake could wait until later. 

~~

"How's the cake?" she asked. They were sitting on the couch with her settled comfortably across his lap wearing one of his shirts. "I may be hopeless when it comes to cooking, but I like to think I know my way around desserts."

"It's the best I've ever had," he replied, then added, "just like the baker herself."

Her fork paused on the way to her mouth.

That couldn't be true. He was just being nice. There was no way that the man known for being seen with a different woman every week thought that she, the girl who had only had sex twice before meeting him, was the best he'd had.

"You're such a liar," she balked.

"You underestimate yourself, sweetheart." 

The way he said that term of endearment always did things to her that she didn't quite understand. She looked at him shyly and idly played with his hair. "So, was this a good birthday?"

"Best one yet." He grinned and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. 

"Wait!" She jolted, nearly displacing his plate of cake. "You didn't open your present yet!" She hopped off his lap and grabbed the bag she had brought in, withdrawing a small packing from it which she handed to him. "Happy birthday!"

He opened the package to reveal a hardcover novel. Before he could speak she dove into an explanation.

"I know I'm really bad at giving gifts, but you said you like fantasy novels and this is my favorite. I really think you'll like it... Is it an ok gift?"

"It's perfect. I'm sure I'll love it." He smiled and opened the front cover to read the synopsis, but instead his attention was drawn to Rey's handwriting on the front page.

It read, "Happy birthday to my first true friend. Thanks for always taking care of me."

She had drawn a winking face at the end of the message, having made sure to never miss her chance to add an innuendo. Below it she had attached a property card from Monopoly; Boardwalk.

"I know we're not just friends," she said quickly, hoping to avoid any awkward silence that might follow. "But I really mean it, all the sex aside. Thank you."

His hand went behind her neck, steadying her as he kissed her fiercely and she melted against him. She put her hands to his chest, letting herself get lost in the kiss and the rhythm of his heart beat. 

Suddenly, Rey wondered if she could ever stand to be "just friends" with Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Fluff overload. Was there even plot in there? I honestly don't know. Maybe for a sentence.   
> I hope it was enjoyable fluff, at least.   
> Thanks for reading, and be safe out there, everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers!  
> Sorry for the delay, but, as you know, it's been hectic. If you read my other fic "Maybe This Time" you've seen my stress-filled rant. The gist is that Japan is being stupid about this whole situation and it's really stressing me out.   
> Anyway.  
> I've brought the chapter count up by 1, cause this turned into an absolute monster of a chapter and I'm not a fan of posting 6000+ word chapters. So, I split it up a little more.  
> I've been working so much on this story. It's become quite a little pet project. I don't know why, but it's just been really enjoyable to write, no matter how predictable and trope-filled.  
> Enjoy!

After the time they all spent together in the cabin, Leia began insisting that Rey join Sunday dinners at the house every week. It had taken a while to feel comfortable, but Rey thought she and Ben had become professionals at acting like nothing more than friendly acquaintances. 

However, that didn't stop her cheeks from heating up every time he stretched one of his impossibly long legs under the table to brush against hers. It was hardly a game of footsie. It was just an innocent gesture, but it set her face flushing just knowing he was thinking about her, and he had decided he enjoyed teasing her. 

Tonight was no different. Rey was cleaning the last few bites off her plate when she felt his foot graze hers. Leia suddenly addressed Ben, causing him to jolt away like a teenager caught in the act. 

"Everything alright?" Leia asked, shooting him a suspicious glance.

"Just fine," he replied coolly. "What was it you wanted?"

"I want to discuss the nonprofit." Leia switched to her tone reserved for business. 

"Yes?"

"I know you're hard at work with the preparations for the upcoming gala, and I know you're down an important member of the team. I wanted to make a suggestion that might help." She looked at him for a reaction.

"And what would that be?" Ben asked skeptically.

"I'd like Rey to be included," she reached a hand out to Rey, "as long as that's alright with her, of course."

"W-what could I do?" Rey looked from one person to the next, waiting impatiently to hear more.

"Well," Leia began. "I know how organized you are, and you're very good at planning, if my schedule has been any indication. There's also the matter of the opening words to our donors. It's both a thanks and an entreaty to each donor, but I feel we've been losing their support because we've had trouble really showing everyone the heart of the matter." She looked at Rey seriously. "Rey, I know you have experience with the foster system." Rey nodded. "I don't want to pressure you, but I was wondering if you would be willing to give your two cents to the matter. Add a word of experience."

"I would love to, but I'm not sure if I'm really qualified. I don't have experience with nonprofit work." Rey fidgeted in her seat, casting a shy glance at Ben. She felt his foot graze her leg again, as if he was trying to reassure her. 

"I know you'll catch on quickly. I expect you two would make a great team." Leia smiled. Across the table Han rolled his eyes at his meddling wife.

~~

Leia was right. They did make a great team, though they had the occasional tendency to be distracted.

Rey had known about Leia's nonprofit for years. It was what originally drew her to work for Leia. Entering the offices, however, was more than she could have expected.

The nonprofit was dedicated to putting older kids in the foster system in contact with professionals. Not to teach them about careers, but to teach them everyday things they might otherwise miss out on. Every year professionals came to teach the teens how to sew, write a resume, or change a flat tire. The kids learned to budget and cook and even to shave. Most of all they learned they weren't alone and that there was hope. The majority of the volunteers who taught classes had been in the foster system themselves. It was a program Rey dearly wished she had access to while growing up. Especially considering all the nights she had spent in the dorm in college googling basic life skills. 

On her first day in the office she was entirely too nervous. She kept having to tell herself that it wasn't like it was her new job. She was just being asked to step in.

The offices were quaint and a few people milled about at shared work spaces. It was all about collaboration. She immediately loved the feel of the place.

After a week she had made a new friend.

"So, what's with you and Solo?" Rose asked one day as they were headed out for lunch.

Rose was a mechanic who taught classes about changing tires and checking oil. Her main job in the office, however, was contacting and scheduling other volunteers.   
The two girls had been talking on all of their breaks, sharing stories from their days in the system.

"What do you mean?" Rey tried to act nonchalant.

"I see you two. All the time you spend together," Rose replied with a knowing smirk.

"We're working on the gala. That's all." Rey found she was starting to grow tired of lying, but the alternative scared her too much to stop.

"Mhmm, but I've seen how he looks at you. There's something going on."

"There is not! We're friends," she argued. "He looks at me as a friend. That's all."

"No," Rose said simply. "He looks at you like he's not sure whether he should put his head between your legs or just put a ring on it." 

Rey nearly choked on her tea. "Oh my god, Rose!" She fought the urge to tell her friend that she was half right in her statement. Something in her wished she could tell the world that she had indeed had Ben Solo's head between her legs and it was glorious. She felt possessive of that fact. If she thought about it she felt possessive of him, and she wasn't quite sure what to make of that. 

"I'm just telling you what's what." Rose leaned casually back in her chair. "I'll tell you this too. You're terrible at hiding the fact that you feel exactly the same way about him." Rey just scoffed. She felt mildly attacked. "Put on your game face. He's on his way over."

Ben appeared beside her, greeting them both before turning to Rey. "My mother was hoping you would come for dinner tonight," he said. "She wants to see how the preparations are coming." 

"Yeah, of course. I'll be there." She gave him a smile which he returned before walking away. 

"Tension," Rose breathed dramatically, causing Rey to give her a punch on the arm. 

"There's nothing between us!"

"Ben Solo just smiled at you." She said it like it was the most impressive accomplishment imaginable. "That basically means that 5 years from now you two will be married. And you'll probably have kids too." 

Rey rolled her eyes, denying the sudden fluttery feeling in her stomach.

~~

"Are you enjoying the nonprofit offices?" Leia asked as the two women sat at the table after dinner that night. Ben had gone off with Han to try and fix some incoherent issue with the television, so it was just the two of them and their glasses of wine.

"Oh yes. Very much," Rey replied enthusiastically.

"My son isn't being too difficult?" She had her usual humorous glint in her eyes.

"Not at all," Rey laughed. "If anything I'm the one being too picky about everything."

"I'm glad." Leia smiled at her fondly, pondering something. "I think you're a good influence on him. He seems more agreeable around you."

"Oh?" Rey was slightly taken aback. "Is that why you wanted me to help with the gala?"

"Heavens, no. I already told you, dear. As someone who used to be in the system you had experience that wou-"

"No," Rey interrupted, feeling suddenly bold. These thoughts had been grating on her all week. "The office is full of people who used to be in the system, and they all have worlds more experience with the non-profit. You could have asked any of them and had excellent results. Why did you ask me? I don't understand."

Leia took a deep breath and fixed her with an authoritative gaze. "I asked you because you're very talented, Rey. You're an intelligent young woman and I wanted to get you into the office and show you what you're capable of. You can't waste your life being my PA. I'm not going to let you sell yourself short. You were meant for much bigger things in life."

"Oh." Rey blinked. That was a lot to take in at once. Rey's goal had always been to live comfortably. That was all she wanted. To not be fighting everyday just to eat, or having to budget in a new pair of shoes. She had found that. Thinking beyond that goal hadn't really occurred to her yet. 

"I had selfish motivations too, don't worry," her boss smirked. "One of which pertains to a position that recently opened up at the nonprofit. I want you to consider taking it."

"Me? But-"

"Don't give me excuses. It's not a glamorous job. The pay isn't much more than what I pay you now, but I want you to seriously consider it. It could be a great stepping stone for you."

"Ok. I-I will. Thank you so much, Leia." She had just been showered with so much praise that she didn't know how to react. 

"Come on," Leia stood from the table. "Let's see how badly the boys have messed up my television." 

~~

"Your mother wants me to take a position at the nonprofit. Full time," Rey found herself blurting out later that night.

"What?" Ben exclaimed, pausing the show they were watching. "Rey, that's great!"

"I-It is?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?" He gave her a concerned look. "Do you not want the job?"

"I think I do. But... wouldn't it be a problem with, well... us and our... situation?" It made her feel weak to admit it, but one of the things holding her back was him. Wouldn't working in the same office mean ending what they had? She wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready to find out what it would mean for their friendship. Would she lose her best friend?

"We would just have to fill out some paperwork," he replied simply. 

"There's paperwork for this?" She exclaimed, amazed. 

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Of course there is." 

Wow, she thought to herself, she knew so little about the corporate world. She knew there was paperwork for relationships, but for casual sex arrangements? That was news to her. 

"Would people know?"

"Only HR. It's their job to keep things private. Nothing has to be revealed that you don't want people to know." She gave him a grateful nod and he pressed play on the show again. 

Rey leaned against him, trying to relax but finding she couldn't. She stared silently at the TV for a moment. "I don't know if I would be good for the job, though," she admitted, voice almost too quiet to carry. 

He looked down at her face with soft concern. "Rey-"

"I don't want to let your mother down. I have no experience with jobs like that and I just know I'm going to fuck it up-"

"Rey." He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Listen to me. You are going to kick ass at that job." She sucked in her bottom lip nervously. "You could kick ass at any job. No one has the correct experience when they first get to a job, but you already have your foot in the door. You would be working in the same place you've been for the past week."

"I guess that's true..." she hesitated. "But I'm nervous." 

He looked at her earnestly. "You'll do amazing, Rey. I don't think you realize just how successful you are," he said, looking into her eyes. "You've overcome so many odds to get to where you are today. You're intelligent and focused and successful."

"I thought I was just a coffee-mule?" She replied skeptically.

He sighed. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"You were rude."

"I was wrong. You already have more responsibilities than any other PA my mother has ever had, not to mention she's offered you a high-level job. You've already made something of yourself."

"You've made something of yourself, too," she pointed out. "It's not that amazing."

"Yes, it is. I had a family name to ride on, along with the family money that sent me to big-name schools that looked pretty on my resume. I had every door open to me without even wanting it. You fought for everything you have, Rey. I can't even imagine the hard work you've done, and I admire you so much for it." 

Rey was speechless. She had gone so long without anyone praising her, caring about her, pushing her to do more. Now she had two people praising her in the same day. She was overwhelmed, as she gazed into the eyes of this man who was saying he admired her.

"You're not just saying that because you get to fuck me?"

He let out a short chuckle. "No. Though," he put a hand behind her neck, leaning closer. "I like to think I get to do more than just fuck you." 

Rey wasn't sure what exactly he meant by that, but any question she might have asked was wiped from her mind as he kissed her. It wasn't a frantic, heated kiss, but it held a heat and passion that had her clinging to him, desperate for more. She had one hand on the nape of his neck, pulling him closer, while the other fisted in the front of his shirt. She pulled him with her as she laid on her back, the two of them just barely fitting on the couch. 

He pulled away to gaze at her and the look in his eyes stirred something more than arousal within her. She couldn't comprehend what it was, but it made her feel whole. It filled gaps in her that she hadn't known existed. 

He gently caressed her cheek, fingers carting through her hair as a gentle smile played at his lips. "Should we move this to the bed?" She nodded and he stood, holding out a hand to help her to her feet. 

Before he could start walking away, she threw her arms around his neck to pull him into a tight embrace. "Thank you," she murmured. 

"For what?" He asked quietly, lifting her into his arms. 

"Everything." She buried her face in his neck as he carried her to the bedroom. He held her close, laying gentle kisses to her neck and shoulder until he set her on the bed, moving to lay beside her. The air around them wasn't tense and electric like it usually was when they were in bed together. It was calm and serene, but Rey found she had just as much, if not more, desire to touch him as usual. 

So she did. 

She reached her fingers into his hair, moving slowly to close the space between them. All the while, he continued to look at her in that way that made her heart beat faster and her breath catch; the way that had sparked the overwhelming feeling in her that she needed him. In what way she wasn't sure, but she needed him.

Every motion that night was slow and almost reverent. Every kiss, every caress, was done with care. They didn't hurry to the finish. They took their time, and it made Rey feel so wanted she could almost cry. 

As they drifted to sleep that night Rey laid her hand over Ben's heart, wondering if he felt the same way; just as overwhelmed and confused, but happy. When he brought her hand to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss before holding it back over his heart, she let herself hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up soon. It's practically finished, just need some minor edits on it.  
> Thanks for reading.  
> Everyone stay safe out there!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with more! I have been editing this fic so heavily lately. I'm starting to worry I'm editing too much. It still feels a mess to me, but I like it anyway.   
> I hope you all enjoy!

Rey's head dropped from where it was perched on her hand, startling her awake. "I'm gonna make another pot of coffee," she drawled through a yawn.

It was the last night before the gala and they had been working tirelessly at the office to make sure everything was in order. 

"Actually, I think it's time to call it a night," Ben replied as he stood from his desk.

"We're almost done," she argued.

He bent down to plant a kiss on her cheek. "We'll look over it again in the morning. Rey, let's go home."

"That's too far away. Can't I just go sleep in my office?" Her soon-to-be office was right next door to his and she was anxious to start using it.

"Not until you officially start the job," he chuckled. "Come on, I'm driving." 

"But my place is on the other side of town from yours. I'll drive myself," she protested.

"You're too tired to drive. I thought we would stay at my place." He hooked an arm under her knees and one behind her back, lifting her into his arms.

"Oh, ok." she replied absently, already beginning to doze off again, her head on his shoulder. If she had been more awake she probably would have laughed about being carried bridal style through the office. It was a good thing Rose wasn't around to see or Rey would have never heard the end of it.

He didn't even put her down as he fumbled to lock the door. Then they were at his car and she was being slid into the passenger seat and she found herself not wanting to let go of him, but she did and then promptly passed out with her head against the window. Next thing she knew she was woken up by the sudden lack of movement. They were parked at his building and he was opening the passenger side door, fully ready to lift her out of the car.

"I'm awake," she said in a sleep-muffled voice. "I can walk."

He chuckled and leaned in to plant a kiss on her temple. "Come on. Let's get you to bed."

She leaned against him in the elevator, his arm around her waist holding her steady. Somehow, in the midst of all the sex, they had become so close. Over the past few weeks they had started spending time together without the end result always being sex. Rey didn't know how to feel about that at first. It seemed too intimate, like the lines of their relationship were being blurred. But she enjoyed spending time with him so much and had become so accustomed to sleeping in his arms that she didn't know if she could stop. More than that, she didn't think she wanted to stop.

She still got that feeling in her chest when he looked at her. The new feeling that scared her, but made her feel so good. She still wasn't sure what exactly to make of it, but was beginning to worry she was moving into dangerous territory. The kind that would leave her broken like she had run through a minefield. 

After all, no one had wanted to keep her around before. Why should she believe they would start to now? 

Rey settled into his arms when they finally made it to the bed. She never felt as safe and comfortable as she always did in that moment before falling asleep beside him. She felt the gentle rhythm of Ben's chest rising and falling against her back as he drifted to sleep, and she soon joined him, feeling like she was right where she belonged. In those moments she let herself dream of a day when he would let her stay there; when he would ask her to stay. And she would say yes. 

~~

Rey entered the event hall and decided she was finally getting used to being sucked into the ballroom scene from Labyrinth. So, maybe it wasn't that lavish. Actually, it was dull in comparison, but Rey knew it was the closest she would get. So, if she wanted to believe there was a sexy goblin king somewhere in the room, waiting to dance with her, then that's what she would believe.

"Good evening," crooned a deep, familiar voice behind her.

Speaking of sexy goblin kings. She turned to face him and almost let out a laugh at the thought of him in the sparkly, flamboyant wardrobe of Jareth. No, Ben would be a very different goblin king; one who was stern and only wore well-fitted, black, Armani suits.

"What's that face for?" He asked suspiciously, noticing the smirk gracing her lips. "Are you imagining me dressed as the phantom of the opera again?" 

"No." She let out a giggle. "This time it's Jareth the goblin king." 

He pulled his mouth into a tight line of annoyance. "Remind me to avoid you when Halloween comes around." 

"I hadn't even thought of that! You have to let me choose a costume for you," she replied excitedly. He couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face at how ridiculous she was. "No date tonight?" Rey had noticed he hadn't brought any dates to these events since just before their trip to the cabin.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "No." He took in her attire with an appraising gaze. "You look very nice."

"Thanks!" She beamed. "I feel classy for once, though I may have gone overboard. I still don't really understand the dress code for these things." She looked down at the black, floor-length gown she was wearing which had a very prominent slit going up her leg and was trimmed with red. "Do you think it's too much?"

"No," he replied, surreptitiously glancing at the way the dress draped around her backside. "Looks perfect to me."

"What if someone saw you just now!" She scoffed disapprovingly.

"They wouldn't bat an eye. I'm just checking out the most attractive woman in the room. I won't be the last one tonight either, I can assure you."

She felt an odd thrill race through her at the jealousy she heard in his voice. With that she decided to extract herself from his company for a while, just to be safe. "I'm going to go make the rounds." She gave him a friendly smile and turned, making sure he had the best view as she walked away. 

~~

Once they had given their presentation to the donors the real party began. The band started up and people trickled onto the dance floor or skirted the edge, fancy drinks and plates of food in their hands. Maybe it was a little over-the-top, but Rey was sure it would stick in everyone's minds. Which was exactly what they wanted. 

"Here." Rey appeared beside Ben and held out a plate piled high with hors d'oeuvres.

"What's this for?" He asked, taking the plate from her.

"I noticed you don't usually eat during these shindigs."

"I just don't think about it."

"Because you're too busy. I know." She gave him a sweet smile.

"I hope you know you're making it very hard not to kiss you right now," he said quietly.

"I think I can find a way to remedy that." She flicked her eyes in the direction of a side hallway. "But not until you eat something." 

"So bossy." He dutifully began eating some canapés. 

"You like it when I'm bossy," she smirked. 

"I won't deny it."

"In that case, wait a couple minutes and then follow me." With that she slipped away.

He didn't wait two minutes. He had trouble waiting even one minute. So, after counting out a minute and ten seconds, he followed, setting his plate aside.

He found her in one of the buildings extra rooms which wasn't being used for the event. She was standing there waiting for him and he couldn't resist any longer. He rushed forward, descending on her lips hungrily.

"You have to be more careful," she reprimanded without conviction, smiling into the kiss before pulling away. "Rose is onto us, you know."

"Is she?" His eyes were full of curious humor.

"She says you always look at me like you want to put your head between my legs." 

He raised an eyebrow before drawing close and murmuring in her ear. "She's not wrong." A shiver ran down her spine as his lips grazed her jaw. 

"Is that all you want?" she breathed.

"No." He continued pressing slow, intoxicating kisses down the column of her throat.

"What else do you want? Tell me." She was melting into his touch, barely able to get the words out.

"I want to take you out on dates instead of always staying in." He murmured in her ear. That wasn't the kind of statement she expected. "I want to have you on my arm at parties," he continued, the feel of his touch changing. It wasn't heated anymore, but growing delicate. "I want people to know I'm yours. To know how lucky I am." What did he mean by that? "I want to stop sneaking around," he said pleadingly before drawing her into a gentle, yearning kiss. When he pulled away he looked deep in her eyes. "Don't you think it's time, sweetheart?"

"What?" She exclaimed breathily. 

"I know you're wary of a public relationship, but I promise if anything happens I'll deal with it. I just," he took her hands in his. "Rey, I've never felt so sure about anything as I am with you." 

She knew she must look exceptionally stupid, her mouth hanging open in shock. Her head was spinning. Was he saying he had feelings for her? That he wanted a relationship?

Relationship... The word put a tight feeling in her throat. She was not a relationship person. The idea put her on edge - the openness and vulnerability. The chance for everything to fall apart and leave her alone again. 

She suddenly realized she hadn't spoken in a while. He was looking at her patiently, a soft, loving look on his face that sent fear straight through to her heart.

"I can't do this." She dropped his hands and pulled away.

"Ok. That's ok," he said in a reassuring tone. "If you want to wait longer to go public that's ok. I'll wait. As long as you need."

"No. I can't do a relationship," she clarified. 

He was silent for a moment before replying. "I'm not sure I understand what's happening. You want to break up? I really thought this was going well. I... I thought this was working." He spoke like he was trying to solve an equation, beginning to pace in front of her. "Did I do something wrong? Please." His voice was tinged with pain as he pleaded with her. "Tell me what I did. Tell me what's wrong. I'll do anything I can to fix it."

"Break up?" She was stuck on those words. "How can we break up when we were never-" she broke off when the expression on his face told her how wrong she was.

"Never what, Rey?" He prompted, voice strained. "Never what?"

"I don't know." She shook her head, feeling suddenly helpless. 

"Yes, you do. Just say it. Please," he begged. "I have to know what you thought this was." 

What it was. The way he said it made Rey realize that whatever it was, it was already over before she'd really had a chance. "I... I thought we were just... I don't know!" She put a hand to her forehead. "I thought we were just having casual sex. Like friends with benefits," she finally admitted in the span of one short breath. 

He ran a distressed hand through his hair. "I'm such a fucking idiot," he shouted at himself, anger rising.

"No. You're not." She had screwed this all up. She knew it must be her fault.

"Yes, I am," he asserted, beginning to pace again and refusing to look her in the eyes. "Here I am spending my days thinking about the next time I get see you, wondering what you would like best for dinner, hoping you'll stay the night so I can hold you... I was letting myself fall in love with you," Rey's heart jumped into her throat, "and the whole time I was being too much of a fucking idiot to realize it wasn't even a relationship. It was just sex." He put his head in his hands.

Rey couldn't move. She was stunned, confused, and unsure what to say. She was completely overwhelmed. The room felt like it was spinning around her.

His eyes scanned the room, looking anywhere but at her, like he was searching for more words. He sighed and finally met her eyes and she saw how red his were from holding back tears. "I'm sorry," he said in a quiet, resigned voice that broke her heart, "for misunderstanding and wasting your time." He walked away before she could compose herself. She fell to the ground, listless. 

Falling in love. He had said those words, hadn't he? But that couldn't be true. They hadn't been on any dates. They had never said anything about being a couple. It had all just been sex, hadn't it? Thinking back over their time together caused Rey's chest to tighten as she realized her mistake. 

He had gone out of his way to make a nice dinner for her whenever he could. They had always cuddled up on his couch to watch TV. When she was sick he had brought her soup and her favorite movie. He had done so much for her. Then she thought about the reverent way he would look at her, like she was the only person in the world, or the way he took his time to admire her when they were in bed. 

Suddenly, she understood that feeling that had crept into her chest and made her feel whole. Love. She had fallen in love with Ben Solo, and now she feared it was too late to tell him; to fix what she had made a mess of. 

Her heart was broken before she even had a chance to bask in the feeling she had been chasing her whole life.

She doubled over, sobbing into her hands as she knelt on the cold, hard floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter has the reason for the title I chose for this fic. I wrote that dumb little bit about Labyrinth (which my friend could not get over. The imagery of Ben dressed as Jareth was too much for them) and decided to use a song lyric as my title.   
> Only one more chapter to go and then possibly a silly/cute epilogue?   
> Thanks so much for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are so patient and I really regret that I'm not here to give you the fluffy ending you deserve yet. I promise it will be up soon. I'm just having a hard time writing since I am feeling so cooped up in my apartment.  
> But I'm slowly getting back into things. It's an adjustment.  
> Without further ado, I present everything that leads up to the fluffy, sappy ending I owe you.

Rey opened her apartment door to see Rose standing there with a bag of takeout in one hand.

"Are you ok? I went to meet you for lunch and Senator Organa said you called in sick." Her friend looked her up and down, a worried expression creasing her brow. "You didn't answer my texts. Did something happen?"

Rey had no energy left to lie, but she also had no energy to give her friend the explanation she deserved just then, so she tiredly waved her into the apartment. 

Rose took a careful look around as they sat on the couch, leaving the takeout to be forgotten on the table. "You and Ben broke up, didn't you."

Rey's eyebrows knit together. "How did you know?" she asked miserably.

"This morning I got to work to find a very unkempt Ben had locked himself in his office, and now I find you eating saltines and watching Ragnarok. Looks like a breakup to me." Rey didn't answer, just looked away. "What happened? I know I joked about it, but I didn't even know you two were actually together."

Rey let out a short, humorless laugh. "Neither did I." A sob escaped her and Rose quickly pulled her into an embrace. After that the whole story fell from Rey's lips with a mess of tears. 

"So, what are you going to do?" Rose asked after letting the explanation settle in the air between them for a few minutes. 

"Nothing."

"Rey, you have feelings for the man. Otherwise you wouldn't be wallowing like this. You have to tell him."

"I already tried." Rey knew her friend wouldn't push for more information, but at the moment she couldn't stop herself, as if some part of her wanted to relive the pain of the past few days as a form of punishment. "I went to his apartment last night." She had skipped Sunday dinner, too afraid to see him so soon, especially in such a normal setting. But as the night wore on she became desperate to talk to him. To try and fix what she could. "It was pathetic," she continued. "It was past midnight and I was just sobbing outside his door, and he never said anything." She buried her head in her hands as another wave of tears threatened. "I told him that I love him." She broke, her body wracked by great heaving sobs. "But he.... he didn't even open the door." Her nightmare had come true, and it was too late. She reeled from the loss. The loss of his touch, his smile, his voice, his friendship, and, the thing that hurt the most, his love.

Rose quickly grabbed the box of tissues, setting it in front of her friend while rubbing her back like a caring mother. "Just tell me when you want me to kick his ass," she said gently. 

Rey let out one laugh in the middle of her sobs. "Thanks, Rose." 

After Rey had settled some, Rose handed her the bag of takeout burgers and fries. "Should we watch more Thor? Korg's about to show up." Rey nodded. She was grateful to have Rose there, doing her utmost to cheer her up. Finally, she had friends. Still, it hurt knowing she had just lost her closest one.

~~

"What happened between you and my son?"

"What?" Rey looked up from her computer to meet Leia's gaze.

"Don't play dumb with me, Rey," Leia said frankly. "I'm not blind and you're a terrible liar. I know you and Ben have been sneaking around having some sort of relationship."

"Oh." Rey's face fell, a confusing mix of fear and sadness beginning to swirl inside her. Was this going to be the end of her career with Leia? Had she really messed up enough to lose both the man who loved her, and her career in one fell swoop?

"You two seemed to be doing so well, and now you've both been sulking for the past week." Leia fixed her with a concerned look. "If he did something wrong I want to know. He's my son and if I need to discipline him I'll still do it."

"No. No, it's not his fault." It's mine, her mind shouted in agony. "It just... it wasn't working." Though it had been nearly a week, Rey still felt the sting as keenly as she had that first night. She still had to stop herself nightly from returning to his apartment just to see if he would change his mind. It was desperate, she knew that. But she had never felt so incomplete.

"Well, that's a shame," Leia said, genuine disappointment in her voice.

"So, you're not mad?" Rey asked cautiously.

"Of course not. I'm not going to let your relationships change my opinion of you and your work ethic. You could do great things once you're no longer my PA." She gave Rey a serious look. "You're not giving up the job because of this, are you?"

"No. I'm still taking it. I'll be there on Monday." She knew she couldn't run, no matter how much the thought of being near him made her nervous. No matter how hard it would be. She wouldn't give up this opportunity because of him being there. She was made of stronger stuff than that, even if she didn't feel it at the moment. 

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. Don't let him bring any of this drama into the office. If he tries, you tell me. I'll straighten it all out." She gave a stern, motherly face.

Rey let out a small laugh. "Thank you, Leia."

She gave a gentle smile. "I won't lie and say I didn't get my hopes up about you two, though. Han and I really do adore you. I just want you to know that you're still welcome at our house any time." She put a caring hand over Rey's.

Rey bit back a few stray tears before smiling up at her boss in silent thanks. She may never truly feel comfortable enough to join them the way she had before, the way that made her feel like family, but it was nice to know she hadn't lost everything.

~~

On Monday morning, Rey was walking into the office of her kind-of ex-boyfriend, trying her best to keep her head held high and her voice level. 

"What do you need?" He asked, voice gruff, as he continued to look straight ahead at his computer screen. "Does my mother need something?"

"Don't you remember?" She asked shyly. He met her eyes for a split second, and her breath caught. "I start today," she explained.

"Oh." His voice stayed level and unfeeling. "Well, you know your way around the building already. Your office is just next door." He paused, looking sullen. "I guess you already knew that too." 

She took a deep breath. "Thank you, Mr. Solo. I'm uh- I look forward to working here." She tried to sound professional, but it still came out strained.

He gave her a nod and she left, striding into the office she had once been so excited to claim as her own. Now it put her on edge. He was just next door, and it was almost as if she could feel his presence through the walls. Cold and unfeeling.

It was the first time she had seen him since the gala and her heart flipped over how much she had missed him. He hadn't exactly seemed angry, but he was so distant. And she had called him "Mr. Solo" like she barely knew him. It hurt to say that, but she didn't know how else she should address him. They were colleagues and she had to be professional, right?

When she had accepted the job she had daydreamed about her first day of work. She expected it to be a day full of fleeting glances and smirks. He would help her get acquainted with the expectations of her position, they would have lunch together, and maybe there would be an after-hours romp in his office. She had been so excited to work with him. Now she wondered if he would ever even acknowledge her outside of a meeting. 

"Hey, girl!" Rose popped her head into Rey's office. "Nice place you got here!" she said brightly.

"I think I need to do some decorating," Rey replied, looking around at the bare walls of the room, which was small, but luxurious in Rey's eyes.

"Well, first you should come to the break room to see everyone. We might have bought fancy coffee and muffins to celebrate having you on board."

Rey beamed as she followed her friend to the small crowd of employees.

Even if she had to constantly skirt around Ben, being in the office with all of these people would be worth the trouble.

~~

Ben Solo wasn't heartbroken.

At least, that's what he had been telling himself since the night of the gala. 

It was over. Simple as that. Except it wasn't simple at all. 

Never in his life had he let his walls down and allowed himself to hope; for love, for a future that was worthwhile. Rey had changed that. His life had been filled with light during his brief months with her. He had let himself be vulnerable, and he ached to have that back.

A stupid part of him had thought that maybe she would change her mind. He had hoped she would be at that first Sunday dinner and he might have a chance to talk to her. To see her again. 

He felt stupid and desperate. He hadn't removed her name from his visitor list at his apartment building. Some part of him hoped she would appear at his door asking to try again, asking for something real. The irony of that romance novel fantasy wasn't lost on him, but it didn't stop him from wishing.

She wasn't at dinner, though. She had given the excuse of being sick, but he knew she was avoiding him. He stopped hoping.

That night he had stayed in his parents' guest room, feeling too worn out to go home and be faced with all of the reminders of her that littered his apartment. The toiletries she had left there, the sugary cereals he had bought for her, the copy of her favorite movie that he kept on hand for when she was feeling down. 

He had spent the following days avoiding her; trying to convince himself he didn't miss her, wasn't absolutely miserable without her. 

Now, she was there, working in the room right next to him. 

During their limited interactions she called him "Mr. Solo" and he didn't know something so simple could feel like such a slap to the face. 

He found every reason he could to lock himself in his office, hoping to get away, but it was no use. He could still hear her voice, her laugh, through the painfully thin walls of the building.

Why had he been so foolish to believe she would ever want him? She was fiery and strong and capable of anything she wanted. He was just a man still trying to atone for his past mistakes. 

He knew he had to leave his office at some point. It didn't look good for the boss to hide away. He wasn't ready for her to be sitting there, swapping stories with other employees about their time in the foster system. He was glad she was making friends. She deserved all the friends she could possibly want. Still, something in him sparked with jealousy when he saw her sitting there, talking so breezily with her friends. He was supposed to be her friend. He had been her first real friend. She had said so herself in the front of the book he couldn't bring himself to get rid of. 

But he couldn't be her friend anymore. Not after he had kissed her, held her, tasted her, watched her come apart in his hands. Not after he had given her everything only to have it set aside and ignored. 

He listened to the conversation she was having with envy. How could she act so normal after everything they'd had together? But that was the problem wasn't it? They never actually had anything together. It had all been a delusion. 

"You were never adopted? After all those foster families?" Rose asked.

"No," Rey replied simply with a shake of her head before taking on a dramatically, sarcastic tone. "I can't blame them, though. I mean who would want a skinny little nobody like me who watches the same movie twenty times in a month and can't even cook pasta without messing up?"

Me, Ben wanted to shout. I want you. She could watch the same movie every day for a year and he would still want her. She could make a mess of his kitchen everyday and he would still want her. She could break his heart everyday and he would still want her. There wasn't anything she could do to make him not want her, not love her.

Because he loved her. He was absolutely gone and ruined for this woman.

And that was the problem.

They were supposed to be colleagues, but he couldn't stop loving her and wanting her in ways that weren't fair to her. 

When the door to his office closed, he sank into his desk chair with a sigh, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. 

He couldn't stay there. The longer she was there the more difficult it became to leave her well-enough alone and ignore the way he felt. He had to leave. He would let her have the comfortable work environment, away from him, that she deserved. 

He made up his mind then and there. On Friday, he would wait for everyone to leave the office before packing up his things for good and quietly leaving, allowing her to move on with her life unburdened by him.

She would be free, and that was what really mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I spent a good portion of time while writing this just shouting at Ben for being such a gorram masochist.  
> Also, big thanks to the Rumors album by Fleetwood Mac which is the absolute best music to write relationship angst to.  
> Thanks for reading and stay safe!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you finish a fic?

"Why haven't you gone home yet?" Ben asked exasperatedly one night, bursting into Rey's office after everyone else had left. Rey had been there exactly a week and he had barely spoken to her; had barely stood in the same room as her for more than a minute. She wasn't sure if she was relieved about that fact or disappointed. On the one hand it made it easier to not end up prostrate at his feet, begging him to forgive her, to take her back, to kiss her again, to touch her again. But on the other hand, it made the truth of the matter so much more real; that there was nothing she could do to make him forgive her. Everyday hurt worse. 

And now he had the gall to walk into her office with an attitude.

She looked up with a start at the sound of his voice. "I'm still working."

"The work day ended over two hours ago. We can't pay overtime."

"I'm not asking for overtime. I just need to finish this," she said through gritted teeth.

"Finish it tomorrow." As usual, he still hadn't completely raised his voice, and for some reason that made Rey more angry. Why couldn't he just fight like a normal person? 

"Tomorrow's the weekend. What's your problem, Ben?"

"My problem is that you're wasting company money."

"I told you I'm not asking to be paid overtime! I'm not even asking to be paid. I'm just asking for the chance to finish this," she shouted. "Tell me what the real problem is, Ben. You ignore me all week and now you come in here to yell at me about nothing? I know I fucked up, but don't bring it into work."

He stood staring at her for a moment. "Fine." He turned and swept out of the room.

She wasn't going to let him get away from a fight so easily. She never had before and she wouldn't start now. Jumping to her feet, she quickly stalked after him as he made his way to the coffee maker.

"You're here too, you know! Why haven't you gone h-" the words died on her lips as she passed his office, the door still flung wide open. "What's this?" She stared at the box on his desk, full of his office supplies and personal items. "Are you leaving?"

He stopped walking and turned to face her. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I can't do this anymore, Rey," he burst out. "I can't work with you."

"So-so you're leaving?" She felt her heart plummet and her breath becoming shallow. It was happening. He was really, truly leaving. Because of her.

"I have to." He sounded distant. 

"But why?" she pleaded, tears pricking her eyes.

"Because I'm not over you," he admitted. "I've tried and tried to tell myself it was nothing and I shouldn't even care, but it won't work. I can't get over you. I just can't, Rey." His voice was strained and desperate. "Being around you is torture knowing I have no right to feel this way. To want you the way I do. It isn't fair to you."

"Then why didn't you answer?" she asked in a small, distant voice.

"What?"

She made her voice as clear and level as she could manage. "If you're not over me why didn't you answer the door when I told you..." She cut-off, feeling the tears threatening. She didn't want to sob those words to him a second time only to be met with silence once more. It would break her.

"What door, Rey?"

"Your door!" She burst out in frustration.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me, Ben! I can't take it!" She threw her arms out in frustration. "I know you heard me. I'm still amazed your neighbors didn't have me thrown out!"

"You-you were at my apartment?" Understanding flashed in his eyes and a hint of something more. He wasn't lying.

"Yes."

"When?"

"The night after the gala... Sunday."

"I..." he looked at his feet as he thought back. "I wasn't there. I stayed at my parents' house," he explained, saying it for his own sake as much as hers. He met her eyes again and she recognized the flicker of hope shining in them. "Why were you there?"

"I-," she caught her breath as best she could. "I missed you." She watched him release a shaky breath and her heart flipped. Had this all been another misunderstanding? His expression gave her the courage to try saying those words one last time. If she was going to be broken it wasn't going to be for a lack of trying. Not when it came to him, the man who had made her feel safe and wanted for the first time she could ever remember. 

She met his eyes, holding his gaze as she finally put herself on the line. "I love you." It came out in one quick breath and then she was in his arms. He was kissing her and lifting her off the ground, and her face was wet with tears, his or her own she wasn't sure. When they broke apart he leaned his forehead against hers, wiping her tears away. "Don't leave," she begged, meaning more, so much more, than the present situation. "I couldn't-" she choked on a sob.

"I won't leave," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Not unless you tell me to." And she believed him; believed that he understood everything, and meant what he said. "I love you, Rey." He smiled and she did too, letting a joyous laugh burst forth from her lips before he was kissing her again and they were holding onto each other for dear life. "I'm sorry," he murmured in her ear. 

"No. I'm sorry. It was me wh-"

He cut her off with another kiss. "Let's agree that we both fucked up. Deal?" She smiled gratefully and nodded, fisting her hands in the front of his shirt and kissing him hungrily. Then suddenly he was picking her up and sweeping her out the door. "I think it's time we went home." 

Rey's chest tightened at the sound of that word on his lips. "Home," she hummed, lacing her arms around his neck and leaning her head against his shoulder.

A short car ride later they were pushing into his apartment, a tangle of limbs and heated kisses. He swiftly kicked the door closed, lifting her up and pinning her against it, lips trailing down her neck. 

"Oh my god," she exclaimed in surprise, causing him to still in his ministrations. He looked up at her face to see her gaze fixed over his shoulder, looking slightly slack-jawed. 

"What?"

"You are not the Ben Solo I know and love." Her eyes scanned the apartment, taking in the mess of strewn papers, mail, snack-food containers. It was still worlds better than her own apartment, but a far cry from the typically spotless abode she had come to be familiar with. She moved to be let down, walking towards the couch once her feet hit the ground. "When was the last time you cleaned?" 

He brought a hand up to run through his hair. "It's- uh... been longer than I would like." Rey knew that meant it had been longer than two days, knowing his cleaning habits, but she suspected it was closer to a week. 

"And what's this?!" She grabbed a familiar DVD case off the coffee table, brandishing it at him. "Were you watching Ragnarok because it's good, or were you pining for me?" 

"Why not both?" He shrugged. 

She smiled, realizing she wasn't the only one who had been acting hopeless this whole time. "We are so pathetic." She put her hands to the front of his chest, leaning up to kiss him, slow and sweet. "Promise me something."

"Hmmm?" He began trailing slow kisses down her neck once more.

"Promise me that we'll communicate properly from now on? Like, with all our words. Saying things explicitly." 

"I can be explicit," he murmured suggestively in her ear. "Would you like an example?"

"Ben," she scolded, smacking a hand to his chest and forcing a laugh out of him. 

He pulled away enough to look into her eyes, smile still playing at his lips. "Rey, I will tell you where I am and what I'm doing every second of every day if it's what you want." 

She smiled, carding a hand through his hair. "I don't think we need to go that far. However," she leaned into him. "I would be willing to try out your plan tonight." With a quick glance towards the bedroom she was grabbing his hand and pulling him towards it, but he stopped her, pulling her back to his chest.

"Hey," he said quietly, suddenly serious. "All joking aside, I want you to know that I'm all in. Not holding anything back."

Rey took a deep breath and smiled, no longer afraid of putting her heart on the line. "I'm all in too." 

~~

"Oh, how the tables have turned," Rey teased as she bought her third railroad.   
"Maybe I'll win this time."

"We've never even finished a game, sweetheart," Ben reminded her.

"First time for everything," she grinned.

They were in the same place they had been over 3 years prior. Thankfully, they weren't caught in a snowstorm this time, but a competitive game of Monopoly, which was, naturally, interrupted by a heated kiss that led them to the bedroom, had become their tradition, and the reason they always planned to get to the cabin a few days before Ben's parents.

Their relationship hadn't been without it's difficulties. Rey was sure about her feelings for Ben, and trusted that he felt the same. Still, it was a long road to believing that she wasn't going to end up lost and alone again. Ben was more patient and understanding than she could have asked for. When she asked to keep their relationship private, only letting family and close friends know, he had agreed without hesitation. He had broached the topic of moving in together so naturally that Rey's anxieties had been nearly nonexistent. Over the past few months he had begun to ask how she felt about marriage, and she had quickly realized that the feeling the idea roused in her wasn't fear but excitement. 

It had been a long time coming, but she was finally getting over those fears that used to keep her from having real friendships or relationships. She owed it all to Ben though he would say otherwise, insisting that it was her own personal strength and determination that made it possible. But she knew that without the push he gave her it would have taken exceedingly longer. 

She wasn't the only one who had changed, though. Ben had softened around the edges, becoming more sociable at work and even in his personal life. Rey couldn't deny that she had instigated that change, often bringing him around to the bar after work with Rose and a few other co-workers. They had even started having friends over for dinner parties. Rey quickly discovered she was not much of an entertainer, but Ben had clearly learned from his mother, turning their apartment into the place to be on New Year's Eve and Halloween. 

"I want to make a trade," Ben announced.

"You? Make a trade?" she scoffed in disbelief. "What could you possibly want so bad to make a trade?"

"Boardwalk."

"It better be a really good deal."

"I will give you Reading Railroad." He set the card on the board between them.

"And?" she prompted. "It's Boardwalk, Ben. I won't let it go for cheap."

"Reading Railroad and-," he reached into his pocket "-this." 

Rey's eyes went wide at the sight of the diamond ring he was holding out to her. "W-what the fuck is that?" she exclaimed, incredulous.

"Still not enough? I didn't think you were so stingy." His voice was confident and teasing, but she could see his hand shaking with the ring clamped between two fingers.

"I-b-now?" she squeaked out among a plethora of other incoherent sounds.

"Only if you're ready," he assured.

She shoved the Monopoly board aside, sending game pieces scattering across the floor, and wrapped herself around him. "You do realize you're dooming yourself to a life of couples Halloween costumes, don't you?"

"Is that a 'yes'?"

She nodded her head fervently before giving him a very sound kiss. "Yes. Absolutely yes." Her hands ran through his hair and around his back, pulling him as close as she could while her tears soaked into his shirt.

"Can I put the ring on your finger now?" he chuckled. 

"Oh fuck." She pulled away to look at him, face a mix of shock and embarrassment. "I forgot." She barely gave the ring a glance as he slipped it onto her finger, too overcome with happiness and the desire to just bask in the moment and kiss him senseless the moment she had a chance, which she did. 

Suddenly they were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, followed closely by Han grumbling, "Ow, jeez. What the hell is this?"

"Looks like they were playing Monopoly again," came Leia's voice as they made their way into the living room while Rey and Ben got to their feet. 

Han took one look at Rey's tear-stained face and pointed an accusatory finger at his son. "What did you do?" 

Rey gave a chuckle as Ben immediately jumped towards the defensive. Leia, however, was more observant, quickly noticing the ring on Rey's finger and giving a gleeful shout before throwing her arms around them both.

"I finally get a daughter!" she exclaimed while Han finally put two and two together, a slow smile spreading across his face. 

As Leia released the two from her arms, Han clapped Ben on the back giving his congratulations in his own quiet way. Ben gave a grateful nod in return before turning his attention back to Rey who was beaming ear to ear while his mother began spouting off ideas about wedding preparations they needed to begin.

"I have my mother's dress in storage. It's absolutely beautiful - very classic - and I think it would look lovely on you, if you'd like to try it out."

"Oh, that's really so sweet of you, Leia, but I couldn't-"

"Nonsense. Don't be coy about it. I'm going to make sure this is the most beautiful wedding you could ask for. Not like the hippie shindig Han and I had." She gave a humorous smile, putting her hand on Rey's arm. "And will you please start calling me 'mom' now, dear?" She turned back to Han. "Let's get our luggage brought in and then we'll all celebrate." With that they disappeared back out the door.

Ben saw the tears glistening at the corners of Rey's eyes and put his arms around her waist, bringing her to his chest. "You doing okay?" he murmured, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

"Perfect," she beamed, leaning up to kiss him, hoping to convey just how happy she was, because "perfect" didn't quite cut it.

When she pulled away she stepped back onto something sharp, letting out a disgruntled groan. She looked down to find a small metal battleship which she picked up with a disappointed sigh. "Next time we are actually going to finish this damn game. Deal?" 

He leaned down to pick up another piece just before she stepped on it, placing a swift kiss on her cheek in the process. "Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me entirely too long to finish. It's possibly the most sappy thing I've ever written, and that's saying something. But I'm really pleased to have finally put this final chapter up. I'm not entirely happy with how it turned out. By the time I made it to the end of this fic I realized there were some themes I would have liked to pay more attention to, and some plot I would have liked to have actually existed (cause this seriously had no plot). But that's the kind of foresight I'll use on my next fic.  
> Thank you all so much for sticking with this fic. I've really loved having all of your support! Maybe I'll see you in the next one!

**Author's Note:**

> This was really fun to write. It's mostly written with just a few connecting scenes needing to be finished. As of right now, I'm still doing a good amount of edits, but it's moving along really well. I think my total word count is currently at just over 10,000.
> 
> For anyone who reads my other fics, don't worry. I'm still working diligently on those. With all the schools shut down, for Corona Virus prevention, I'm stuck with nothing to do but write fic. Which means that maaaaybe I've already started yet another AU because I'm trash. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!


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